Hello and welcome back to Come Roleplay With Me! If you don’t know the drill by now, then I’ll explain: each week, I pick a different game and decide to Roleplay a particular character in them, usually placing some form of restriction on myself (like permadeath).
Last week I played Mount and Blade Warband, travelling Calradia and trying to become the greatest warrior in the land. This week, I had something more simple in mind. Rather than some grand quest, I decided to play Hitman: Blood Money, and tackle a single level. Pretty simple, right?
Wrong!
“Excuse me sonny, I seem to have fallen and I can’t get up…”
With so many great missions to choose from, it took a while for me to land on Curtains Down (which takes place in a Parisian Opera House). It’s one of my favorite missions in the whole Hitman series. I can’t put my finger on why I love it so much, but I do.
As I started playing the mission, looking around for my potential victim, I had what I thought was kind of a funny idea, so I rolled with it. In any case, I didn’t intend to play all of this in one sitting and with permadeath (I thought I’d be dead in 5 minutes), but as it turned out I managed to pull it off. Since I never got a prize for last week’s success, maybe this week I will.
Anyway, I have an appointment at the Opera. Good thing I brought my suit.
A Hitman Turned Executioner
All Agent 47 knew was killing. All his life he’d been trained to be a weapon, and he did it very well. As his taxi pulled up outside the opera house, 47 felt the familiar pang of emptiness that always hit him at the beginning of a contract. By the end of the night, two more men would be dead, and Agent 47 would be no happier for their passing.
The front entrance was as grand as one would expect for a Parisian Opera House. 47’s expert eyes passed over the entire foyer in a heartbeat, calculating escape routes, the number of guards… pretty much everything one needs to know when murdering is their business.
“I’ve seen worse toilets…”
Having studied the briefing, 47 knew that the door directly to his left would lead him backstage where he would take out his first target, opera singer Alvaro D’Alvade. He’d do this by replacing a replica World War I pistol with a real one - getting the actor playing the role of executioner during the Opera to do 47’s work for him.
In the ensuing chaos, he’d then pick off his 2nd target: American ambassador Richard Delahunt, who was in a well-guarded VIP box on the upper balcony. After this he’d simply make his escape out the front door, with all suspicion falling on the actor playing the executioner.
The plan was perfect.
In order to get backstage without raising suspicion, Agent 47 needed a construction worker outfit. After picking up a concealed package from the front desk (containing the real WWI pistol he needed to carry out his plan), 47 spotted a worker heading into the toilet. 47 followed closely behind, waiting for the right moment to strike. As the man went about his business, Agent 47 shot him in the back of the head with his silenced pistol.
To some, killing a man with his pants down was despicable; but Agent 47 had learned that there was never any dignity in death.
“Weren’t you wearing a suit 5 minutes ag-” *silenced gunshots*
After disposing of the body in a conveniently-placed clothes hamper, 47 made his way down into the maintenance area. Thankfully, due to the construction going on at the opera house, there were so many workers that nobody questioned there being another wandering around who they didn’t recognize. The only obstacle between 47 and the stairs leading to the stage was a locked door. Once the room was clear, he made short work of the lock and made his way through.
As he came to the backstage area, he spotted a bodyguard that must have been there to keep D’Alvade safe. This would be trickier than he’d originally thought. As he contemplated the best way to take this nuisance out of the picture, he heard it: the opera rehearsals had begun.
47 had never heard anything more glorious in his life - except, perhaps, for Ave Maria, which for some reason seemed to follow him around wherever he went. All thoughts of his contract were forgotten as 47 lost himself in the music. Feelings that he didn’t know existed were evoked by the wonderful melodies.
In a heartbeat, 47 changed his mind. No longer was he going to kill D’Alvade; he was going to be a part of the opera! Able to bask in the glory of the stage! The best way to accomplish this was to take the actor playing the executioner out of the picture, then he could replace him on stage and become a star himself. The executioner’s room was directly beside the target’s. 47 was able to quickly dart across into the changing room before anyone could see, then hid in the closet and waited for the actor to return.
As he waited, he felt an unfamiliar sensation. Was it nerves? He couldn’t believe how excited he was. No longer would he lurk unseen in the shadows; Agent 47 would see his name up in lights.
THE FIDDLER ON THE ROOF - FEATURING AGENT 47. A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM - FEATURING RENOWNED ACTOR AGENT 47.
Agent 47 couldn’t contain his excitement.
The possibilities were endless, and he couldn’t wait.
As 47’s excitement reached breaking point he heard the door open. The actor had returned. Unable to contain himself, Agent 47 sprung from the closet and shot him in the head. He then changed as quickly as possible, doing his best to hide the bloodstains. Nobody would notice anyway, it was an opera about war.
The bell rang, signalling that it was time for all actors to return to the stage. Before he left, Agent 47 made sure to take the fake WWI pistol with him - it would be a disaster if he brought the real one…
Since there were refurbishments going on, there weren’t many people in the crowd, maybe 20 at most. This didn’t matter; all 47 cared about was making his debut on the stage. Thankfully his first part only involved pretending to shoot someone - and he’d been rehearsing for the role his whole life.
The music started and D’Alvade began singing. It was beautiful. Agent 47 couldn’t believe he was really here. He was an actor! This was the beginning of a whole new career!
Thank goodness he remembered the fake gun, that could have been a disaster…
As the music continued, he realized that his cue was coming up. Now was his time to shine. As the music reached its climax, he pulled the pistol out and fired the fake gun at D’Alvade 6 times. He’d done it! He was a success! Everybody was looking at him, they couldn’t believe how magnificent he’d played the part. Even some of the security asked him who he was; they must have wanted an autograph or something.
47 turned to his adoring fans and told them to come up one at a time. They seemed confused; they must have been starstruck, the poor things. As he reached into his coat to look for a pen, the security guards began aiming their pistols at him and firing.
It may have hurt, but who was he to argue with what was clearly a Parisian tradition? Some people throw flowers at their favorite actors; obviously the French shot them a bit. As his vision began to fade, 47 was able to see himself as a great stage actor, and for once he couldn’t wait for tomorrow.
Fin
Ok, so let me explain.
I’d decided to play this level as a Hitman-turned-actor. My main target was the actor who played the executioner, then I was going to dress as him and successfully complete his scene. Despite the fact that I brought the fake gun on stage, dressed correctly and stood in the right spot, as soon as I fired the fake gun everybody turned on me as though I’d actually shot him. It was an unexpected but hilarious end to a really fun mission.
As fun as it was, I do feel like I betrayed Agent 47 a little. I love his character, and I feel as though I soiled his good name. I just hope he doesn’t come knocking at my door to kill me for my insolence.
In any case, I hope you enjoyed my Hitman playthrough. As always I’d love to hear about your roleplaying escapades in the comments, especially if they involve a Hitman game.
Next week, since I had a so much fun with Hitman, I think I’m going to revisit it. I’m not yet sure which game or mission I’ll play, but I have all week - so I’ll figure something out.
As always, I hope you have a great week and thanks for reading. Come Roleplay With Me again next time.
Chris Corbett
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